More Wednesday

I answer Cynthia's Email about ushering over Easter--tell her again I'm very available for whatever dates she needs me. Leap year. Easter comes in March. My first breakdown come in March. I vividly remember my father demanding,but demanding, that the aides shave off my beard. He didn't want me poisoned any more by that Christ Jesus hippy shit. They obliged. I resisted but was too drugged (and insane) to put up much of a fight. Always the problem solving engineer was my father. This happened in 1971. My rebirth didn't start until 1978. At first it wasn't really spiritual:it was just a deep commitment to get well. The last time I went to a VA hospital in Maine and got the time and medicine to get well.

My father. Let's start with a funny one. One summer we were barbecuing in our back yard.Father started the charcoal fire with lighter fluid and he put on the hamburgers before the fluid burned off so the burgers all smelled and tasted like lighter fluid. We told him so and refused to eat them. Pop, to prove us wrong ate the whole smelly and foul bunch, as if we were the ones missing something good. Such was my father. I rest. I wait for the Easter Bunny. He or she has given me a new life.